Labeling our children

The in-laws and us have had fun labeling our children. Yes, the exact thing you're not supposed to do. Whatever. But they're kind of fun labels we're enjoying behind their backs, at nobody's expense. Through the years, the 4 middle grandchildren have formed these very distinct personalities and through those personalities, we've come up with these nicknames.

The oldest girl, R, has been dubbed: The NegotiatorWe can see her being sent to a foreign country, on the brink of war, with the intentions of negotiating peace and/or disarmament. Or maybe even defending a high-profile case that has gone to trial. This girl is the one you want on your side, negotiating on your behalf because she doesn't give up. There's got to be a way to work around these things called "rules".

The next girl, Katherine, has been dubbed: The JudgeYes, she has a serious streak of royalty in her, but get her in a new situation in front of new people, and I dare you to get barely a lip twitch out of her. She can pull off a stone-face better than professional poker players. And what you don't know is that she might be warming up to you. You'll never know until its too late.

The oldest boy, J, has been dubbed: Mr. Secret ServiceSimilar to his older cousin, this one here is a hard one to convince. As far as he's concerned, you are guilty until proven innocent. It takes a lot of proven, hard, cold facts for him to be convinced of your argument, even if it is as simple as "put on your shoes, we're going outside." You better bring your "A+" game to this one, he's expecting it.

The next boy, Nathan, has been dubbed: The AmbassadorLooking up the definition of ambassador has me wondering if it should really be a mixture of that plus The Politician. This kid may look too young for it, but he's ready to start shaking hands and kissing babies. Fellow restaurant patrons, he's saying 'hiyee' and 'biyee' to you all with a well-defined flip of the wrist wave and bank teller ladies watch out, he's coming straight for you with a flower off the bush outside, a hand-blown kiss and a smile that will knock your socks off.