"Haven't I been saying that to you?" - God style

When our first little bundle of 7 lb. 1 oz. joy was born, I was thrust into the world of loving more than I ever thought was possible. That baby became my every thought, every dream, every waking moment.

Soon after her birth was when my eyes were truly opened to how much our Heavenly Father loves His children. It took having a child to begin understanding the tip of the iceberg of the love He has for us.

Drawing the first correlations to God's love for me occurred when all I wanted to do was stare at her, the infant, all day long. She really didn't do much at all, but I was fascinated with everything about her. I wanted to watch how she moved her lips, watch her growing, sleeping, breathing, eating, changing before my very eyes and all her little daily routines. And I thought, I betcha God wants to know all about my day too. Then when she started walking, I wanted to encourage her, congratulate her, assist her, coax her to walk a little further and reassure her that I was there to catch her if she fell. It dawned on me, God desired to do all those things for me too. Then when she was able to start talking, I craved to hear to her squeaky little voice, teach her more and have her talk back to me. God desired to do all those things with me too.

Another kid added to the mix and four years worth of realizing how much God desires my attention and thoughts really brought out the mirror in my life. The mirror isn't visibly there (thank goodness), but the mirror in my words, actions and thoughts revolving around these two kids that reflected God's own desires for my life.

I can't count how many times I've said something out loud, especially to our two children, and thought, I wonder how many times God has said that to me and I just wasn't listening. Sometimes, the words are quite humorous and others are just plain heart-wrenching when I realize how much I truly don't include Him in my life.

I have this picture of a typical day: God is up in heaven, munchin' on some warm, soft, fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies (this is my vision ok, that's pretty close to heaven for me). He's watching the boob tube, with a Live Feed pointed directly at and in my house. Reality TV at it's finest, I say. And as he listens and watches our mostly mundane, yet somewhat hilarious lives unfolding, he hears me parenting two children. Occasionally, he's proud of my words, actions and thoughts but mostly he's left speechless with his mouth wide open, crumbs falling out, and is flabbergasted with the irony attached to my parental words of wisdom. For instance, I have just said to the biting child, "I don't care how tired you are or how awful you feel, that still doesn't give you the right to bite, hit, scratch or pull hair." Don't you know God's thinking, "wasn't it just yesterday, after church, she was exasperated in the car because Nathan was tired and all she could do was whine and get snippy with the whole family and her excuse was 'I'm tired'?" The main difference: about 30 years. And considering how long God has been around, it's negligible.

I've been keeping a mental note of the phrases I say all the time that could easily be turned around for God to say back to me. There are many I can't remember and many are still yet to come, so I've listed out the ones I do remember with the hopes and prayer that I'll bring more self-awareness to my deceitful behavior and God will find mercy upon me to bring about a change in my parenting techniques.

I first read through these phrases imagining me saying them, then read through them again imagining God whispering these words in my heart after I've acted like the child I'm attempting to parent:

"Are things really that bad to cause you to be so dramatic and throw yourself around?"

"Don't you know, I'm on your side? I'm here for you and I need you to trust and believe me."

"I guess I'm gonna have to just let you hurt yourself."

"I just want to hear about your day. I'm your biggest fan. I wasn't there to see you and I enjoy talking to you and hearing your stories, that's why I ask about your day all the time."

"Will you hurry it up! Why does it take so long to get out of the house, I'd have more luck mobilizing the army!" (although I think they might be a bit more efficient and that one might be for more of my husband saying it to me instead of God)

"You can make this hard, or choose to do it the easy way. It's your choice."

"A little hunger pains don't warrant that type of reaction."

"Come here. Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here. Put the stick down and come here."

"Your teeth hurt? Try having kids!"

"You want me to put a band-aid on that?"

"Come here, can I just hold you?"

"I love you more than you'll ever know."

It could be that I just haven't experienced it yet, but I can't imagine anything getting to the heart of a believer, any faster or straighter, than having children. Thank you God for the children you've blessed us with and for your gracious love paralleled in our lives.