Being Thankful

It took an hour-long conversation about our finances last night to remind me what this weekend is for. Overall, the conversation went well. A few tears later, mixed in with a little anger, some "clearing things up", a list of action items, prayers to start and end the conversation and a promise to discuss further, made me realize how self-absorbed we've been all these years. And being able to not look inward truly opens up a brand new and big world of being thankful.

So in the true fashion of Thanksgiving...
I am thankful for:

My Faith: experiencing unconditional love and mercy; a loving and supportive church family; bible studies geared toward being a better mom; God's words in print and the freedom to read at any time; being able to pray

My Husband: him finally starting to "get" me and how I operate; his somewhat-secure and fulfilling job with benefits; his love for me when I'm most unlovable; improving communication skills; his physical attraction to me (especially in the morning when I could be mistaken for the infamous mug shot of Nick Nolte)
My Children: their hineys poked up in the air while sleeping; soft, silky blonde hair and big blue eyes; everyone sleeping in until 7am (including the dog); experiencing a fraction of the infinite love God has for me, His child, through them; interrupted phone conversations (because they crave my attention and I know it won't last forever); cuddle time; hearing "mama" right before a full body hug; having 2 whole minutes of being-still-to-read-books time with both of them before bed
My Family: having so many family members living in the same county; having so much family that Thanksgiving has to be spread out over 3 days and never wondering if we would see them over the holidays; knowing that I've never been un-loved; growing a garden; laughter

My Friends: old and new friends that challenge me; on a regular basis, running into people that have known me since birth

Our Health: being sick (because it means I'm so used to being well); health insurance; contact lens (Quasimoto has been wearing glasses for 3 days now); the freedom I feel when I've stepped into a public place after being home-bound for 10 days; a good night's sleep; Children's Motrin; toothbrushes and toothpaste; having friends and family bring us meals or call to check in on us; our immediate and extended family's good health

Life: struggles (because it means I feel something and I'm growing); blogging; my husband and I having able minds to work through problems together; having an orange tree in our front yard and getting to share its fruit; music and singing; a clean house; uninterrupted phone calls; our beautiful home; lots of pillows for sleeping; having a sense of humor and being able to laugh at life

My Occupation: being forced to quit work so I could be at home more with kids; having a successful, well-paying job in a positive environment, while it was there

Finances: the opportunity to struggle financially (because it forces us to re-evaluate what is important and not be so full of ourselves and prideful); selling unsentimental gold items from high school days that fund Christmas; being forced to be creative with saving $

After typing all these out I was reminded of how quickly those things that get me in a bad mood tend to overshadow so much of what I have to be thankful for. It was also ironic that it took a heated conversation about finances to stir up this list, most of which has no monetary value at all. I guess the real test is keeping a thankful heart all year, all the time.

We all have so much to be thankful for and I'm learning that if this list were stripped from my life, there is still the joy of knowing we serve a living, loving God. It is hard to fathom how Paul could write of so much joy and hope while being imprisoned, but he did. God Bless you all this weekend. Be safe.

I'm so over all this

We are officially on day 10 of someone feeling sick, puny, irritable, stopped up or exhausted in our house and I've learned this one thing: Mommy, no matter how hard she tries to convince the herd, will never, ever, ever be as sick, feeling bad, tired, hurt, hungry or miserable as any other member of the household. EVER! She can be on her death bed and someone will undoubtedly expect her to get up for a snack, change a diaper, administer the barrage of medicines to others as well as herself and keep a smile on her face the whole time.

News Flash: June Cleaver does not live here. She never has and she never will.
Which means, after day 8 of being stuck in a house with two sick children rightly incapable of taking care of themselves and my health feeling "off" also, I had to start apologizing for my foul attitude. You say, "oh Kel, well that's a long time and it's expected to get a little testy." Yes, yes, you're right, but when the husband starts telling me to visit the other room to go have an attitude check and "go wherever you need to go to get in a better mood", you know it's gotten bad. It certainly didn't help that I woke up this morning looking like Quasimoto. One eye of mine is blood-shot red, puffy, oozing and scares children. No really, Nathan stares me down every time he gets close. I don't feel bad though, it probably came from him.

I should have known my nursing abilities were going to be stretched beyond comfortable limits when I was dating Jim in college. Not soon after we started dating I got sick. He so kindly called and offered to get me whatever I needed from the store. Soon after, I heard the doorbell ring. I slowly hoisted my achy body out of bed and opened the front door to find no one there, just a Publix bag of Gatorade and soup sitting on the welcome mat. A look to the right, a look to the left, stepping out past the bushes and a look back to the right showed my new beau sitting in his truck, with it running and poised to exit the parking lot quickly, with him peering through the passenger side window. He asked, "That was what you needed right?" I should have known then.
So my frustration has shifted to our Dr.'s office. I explained before that I wished we knew if this was H1N1 or not and now I hear stories of other pediatrician's offices here in town knowing within 10 minutes of a nose swab that someone has it or not and prescribes TamiFlu for the whole family. Frustration has reached an all-time high. I might be wrong here, but is it possible this adventure might have been truncated to, oh about, 5-6 days instead of 10 possibly 13-14 by the time this is all over? We were in the Dr.'s office last Tuesday AM, I mentioned the test then and was discouraged to pursue it. I swear.

Shall I focus on some good news? Katherine was well enough to go to school today. A sliver of normalcy, once again. 48 hours worth of antibiotics does wonders in little people. We are all officially on antibiotics, orally and ocular-ly. Laughter and squeals are more prevalent once more. We've received two nights of meals out of all this (I'll never turn down a meal) and IF this was H1N1, we now have antibodies built up for the next strain.

I'm so over all this.

Piano practice

More practicing...

(Does anybody know how to change the Project Thumbnail of my videos to portrait instead of landscape? I'm struggling here.)

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Macho Macho Man

Part of the fun is watching Daddy dance to "Macho macho man" also.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Oink oink? Who knows!

It was our family's turn to get the yuckies, so since Sunday night we've been battling coughing, sneezing, sore throats, nausea, vomiting and fevers. I started to wonder so I read up on the symptoms of H1N1, and the kiddos matched it closely. So, when I asked the Doc on Tuesday if that was it, he said there were 3 other viruses very similar to it and there was no way they could tell (I'm pretty sure that translates into: We'd rather not do blood work on you to verify so we won't frighten you and tell you it is). So what good does getting all worked up and worried about this silly flu do you if you don't know you have it? I declare.

Daddy was kind enough to take off work today and take care of all three of us. After a couple eye rolls from me after us three being treated like we had leprosy, Daddy summed it up pretty well, "The old Jim would have moved out. Be thankful." And he's right.



Our sick children still LOVE playing with George. Getting a mouthful of cat hair is just one of the recreational hazards; and he's such a good sport about it all.


Monday, before realizing Katherine was sick also, we took a pretty long walk and she chose to push her baby stroller. Is it possible to go for a walk without getting all dolled up? I think not.

His children

These last couple of weeks I've really been wrestling with an important decision regarding my children's health. I'm purposely not going to go into detail, so bear with me.

First of all, our health care system has "recommendations" for our children's health that are based on experts, scientific research, a history of past illnesses, cost and many other factors. For the most part, these recommendations are genuinely safe and are in the best interest of our children. Although, there have been instances where complications have arisen from a seemingly safe and popular practice. Enter in confusion.

Secondly, I believe God placed in me a desire to question and be a thinker. I do not automatically believe that doctors know everything that is best for my children's health. I respect that they certainly have loads more education in the field and more experience, but I'm their mom. Enter in doubt.

Which leads to the dilemma I've been struggling with lately. For weeks, I've been tossing the idea of whether or not to do this procedure and the comment I made to Jim yesterday was this, "Either decision scares me. There is no right answer. It is the 'lesser of the two evils'. I feel totally helpless with whatever decision is made."

So today, when I left the Doctor's office with Nathan, I was overwhelmed with confusion and doubt and prayed, "Dear God, Please protect my child."

And it hit me. Oops, I must correct my prayer.

"Dear God, Please protect your child."

And it hit me again. How silly did that sound? I was pleading with the creator of the universe and everything in it, the One who loves his children more than I could ever fathom, to protect his own child. It really started sounding silly then. Almost like if I went up to one of my mommy-friends and pleaded with them to protect their child. Well, of course they would. They would give their life for that child, and here I am fearful that God will not protect his own.

A peace came over me. I was reminded that my children are not my own. I have been given the awesome responsibility to raise them, but ultimately they are His. And what makes me feel even better is that no matter how hard I try to make "all the right decisions," God's loving hand is still protecting these precious beings in spite of my inevitable mistakes I try so hard to avoid.

I still don't feel good about my decision, but the alternative would have made me feel worse. Thankfully, His children are ultimately in His care.

All the time. Always.

Flowers, future food & family fun

Couldn't help but take more pics of my pretty hydrangeas.


Our garden is producing a crop. To me, it looks like weeds we call clover 'round here, but nonetheless, it's some type of food we'll eventually eat.


Friday night was Family Camp Out Night at our church. Daddy and Katherine stayed the night in the tent with Uncle R, R, & J and they had a great time.
I was asked many times why I wasn't staying the night and my response was, "Because I know my son's limitations and I love my church family. I wouldn't want to subject them to the havoc he would wreak." I don't think I'll be able to get out of it next year.

Katherine did great. She enjoyed dancing and running around at night with the cousins, sleeping in the tent and cuddling with Daddy. It was a great first-time camping experience.
Nathan and I visited until his bedtime then we went home. I'm not quite sure what he enjoyed. Oh yeah, it was the food. The unsteady, starting-to-get-wet ground that he couldn't see wasn't his cup of tea. Maybe next year, little fella.


One more thing, I've been called "Your majesty" now in addition to "Your highness" by my little princess who declared that "I don't like to wear sweaters because they make my dresses look un-pretty, Mommy." Anybody know of a picture of Cinderella wearing a dress with a sweater? I need one desperately. I'm praying the temperatures don't dip below 60 until I can convince her that princesses wear pants also.

Go ahead, laugh it up, mom. I know you're enjoying this.

Nathan's wonderful world

At the very end he says "juice." Thought it was cute enough to share.

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Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

Well, we did it. Jim has been dreaming of planting a garden in our back yard for over a year. School was a huge deterrent and since it's no longer an excuse, a little 10'x15' corner of our back yard is now fertile ground for soon-to-be-eaten yummi-licious-ness. In 60-90 days, we'll be enjoying carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, lettuce and turnips (although I wouldn't know whether or not to boil, deep-fry, bake or freeze a turnip. Any suggestions?).
Saturday was the ground-breaking. I'm actually really excited that Katherine gets to witness this first hand; it's a great built-in math, science and life lesson in our own back yard. Nathan was more interested in torturing earthworms. This particular worm is now fertilizing our crop, thanks to little Ivan the terrible.
We've (Katherine and I) been designated the official weed-removers. I'd like to think we might be at an advantage with this endeavor, since Daddy does work for the University's Plant Science Unit and that's what he does all day, but we have the same insects, fungi and lack of water issues as everybody else. So we'll see.


While I was back there enjoying the sights and sounds, I noticed once again how pretty our hydrangeas were. I will say this, thanks to my mother-in-law and my husband for cultivating and keeping these beauties alive. I absolutely LOVE my hydrangeas. I LOVE that they're a medium, country blue. I LOVE that they're so big and beautiful. I LOVE that they're in my back yard and I can cut some and have fresh flowers. And I LOVE that my mother-in-law took the additional potted hydrangeas from our wedding, grafted them to make more, planted some in her yard and gave us some also. These are actually descendants of hydrangeas from our wedding. That's pretty cool to me.

Earlier that day, Katherine and I participated in the Walk for Life which is a major fundraiser for the Women's Pregnancy Center involving a 2-mile walk. With God's blessings, my goal of raising $175 was almost doubled to raise $300. Thank-you all who donated. As a mother who is thankful every day for her two young children (even when times are really rough), it breaks my heart to know that there are women out there contemplating the idea of terminating their child's life.

I think God might have worked through this little video I attached to an email I sent out soliciting donations...

Translation: "Can you sponsor me to help save the babies."

A new season

I know I've reached another new and exciting season in my life when:

• The 3.5 year old has become the house's #1 bossy tattle-tale: (referring to Nathan...) "Mommy, I think he's not chelling the truth" and even the dog mopes around more because there's another person to boss her around, "No, Gracie! Go lay down! Put your head down and be still. Don't eat my food. Eat your own food."
• She is starting to get the concept of germs, "Are germs reeeeeeeealy little?"
• I find myself teaching her the concept of rhyming by conjuring up silly sentences like, "Once he peered, he feared the weird beard." "The king is going to sing with a ring on his wing." "The deli gave Kelle a smelly jelly belly." (That's her favorite) and "The fat cat wearing a hat sat on a rat lying on the mat." She did point out two rhyming words I unknowingly said this morning, so something must be working.
  
• She referred to me as "Your Highness" this morning (I'm sure it's too many times watching Cinderella).
• Nathan is letting me hold and cuddle him. He's also becoming interested in books.
  
• He bites his sister's arm, 1) out of pure frustration with not being able to communicate anything other than his normal high-pitch "Uhhh!", or 2) he's just plain rotten.

• My beautiful little girl is showing fashion-goddess tendencies that would give Tim Gunn the chills. (This morning was red, green and white striped velour pants, a shin-length teal summer dress with cupcake smocking, a pink polar tec coat and tennis shoes with pink and brown tiger-striped print socks). I know my mother is truly enjoying watching all of the fashion struggles in our home because it happened 30 years ago to her.

• It really is finally getting cooler.
  

Faithful Field of Dreams

Amy, my middle school/high school/college roommate took a huge leap of faith. I keep thinking of the 1989 Academy Award winning movie "Field of Dreams" with Kevin Costner when I think of her and her family. Costner's character is a novice Iowa corn farmer who becomes convinced by a mysterious voice that he's supposed to construct a baseball diamond in his corn field, while hearing the voice whisper, "If you build it, they will come." The film's underlying theme is the fulfillment of dreams and my friend Amy and her family have certainly fulfilled a dream of theirs. Similar to the movie, she lives on a beautiful piece of land in rural America, in a farm house, surrounded by farmland and has been convinced for years to follow her "inner voice".

Amy and her family were the ones who orchestrated the Coon Hollo Corn Maze we visited a couple weekends ago. With close to 10,000 people attending in 5 weekends, the plot of land sitting at the bottom of the hill in front of her barn-red farm-style home has become her Field of Dreams.

I admit, when she first told me about this plan of hers, I was extremely skeptical. Skepticism has become rampant in my world since becoming a wife and mother. All the whos, whats, wheres, whys and hows flooded my thoughts and I couldn't get past the details to see the overall dream for what it could be.

Don't get me wrong, it was a risk, it was a pain in the rear, it was stressful. It took a lot of hard work with at least 8-10 family members pitching in serious hours for this to be successful; but in the end it paid off. Their exhaustion and worn corn maze are there as battle wounds they can proudly show off. I know of a hand full of little ones who were disappointed when told they'd have to wait until next year to go again. A little icing on the cake the last hour they were open was a special visit from an "official" Hollywood movie star.

I am so happy for her and hope to learn from her faith. She has been a true inspiration to me. Thank-you, Amy.

Jesus replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

Nathan's Halloween outfit for next year

Daddy seems to always enjoy playing the part of "ask the child loaded questions to see how she responds" and it usually has something to do with me. Go figure. But this time, the table was turned about 90 degrees to be slanted towards brother.

Daddy: Nathan, you sure smile a lot. You practicing that for the girls? You gonna be a Ladies' Man?
Katherine: Daddy, what's a Ladies' Man?
silence from Daddy and slight change of subject
D: Katherine, do you think when brother gets bigger he'll be a Ladies' Man?
K: You mean for Halloween?

Note to self: next year's Halloween costume (while it's still cute and innocent)



Speaking of Halloween, here's the pics:

Our church had a Trunk or Treat. I'd never been to one, or decorated our trunk for one, so we didn't know what to expect.

Our trunk decoration that looks like a cheap Disney shower curtain.
Nathan tolerated this costume for, oh about 2 minutes. (That would be his parents torturing him by forcing a Dumbo costume on him then taking a picture)
Then we were on to costume #2. It was a sweltering 80 degrees at 6pm, so this one only lasted for about 10 minutes. And our beautiful princess Katherine proudly wearing her princess dress for year #2. (Fine with me, didn't cost a thing. Only had to let the 3" hem out from last year)
The usual suspects:
There towards the end, Nathan figured out that the "process" involved taking candy out of one bucket to put in another. So, he started collecting candy from wherever he could find it (sometimes our candy bucket, sometimes sister's bag she worked so hard to fill) and dropping it into passerby's bags, usually without them even knowing it. Here he is very proud of himself to be giving it away to Mrs. B. He was getting lots of praise from Mommy every time he gave some away. You see, Mommy tends to sneak A LOT of candy when children aren't looking, all... day... long... So he was helping the "lose weight" cause that I have pretty much forgotten about.