A great week

I hope I'm not jinxing anything by mentioning this, but this past week has been one of the best during my mommy-ing journey. The last 2 months were so busy, hectic and non-stop, it was as if we barely had time to even notice the people living in our own home.

Don't get me wrong. The pool and swim lessons and Princess Party and vacation were all exciting, fun and memorable. But this week we did very important stuff, like:

• go visit daddy, have lunch with him and ride around on a golf cart while looking at crop fields and tractors
• spend time with our neighbors learning how to bake sugar cookies and decorate them
  
• have our friends come over for playtime and lunch
  
• go for a 5-minute walk around the block that takes 45 minutes
• learn about the difference between Pine trees and Oak trees
• pick up, touch and drop pine cones that are prickly
  
• pick lots of flowers every day and put them in water vases
  
• watch a black snake sliver across the lawn
  
• watch new construction equipment in action
• visit and swim with the cousins
• color with our newly sharpened colored pencils at the table together
• eat supper at the table together as a family
• take a ride in the couch-car to our vacation spot - St. Augustine
  
• finally eat something home-cooked
• read new books we borrowed from our friends
• purposely make funny faces over and over again just to get a laugh
  
• cuddle with each other

• Say I Love You more times than I can count

I consider myself so blessed and thankful to have been given the opportunity to be a mom. Even more importantly, I'm thankful for the parallels brought to my attention regarding the love and admiration I have for my children as compared to God's love for me.

"Haven't I been saying that to you?" - God style

When our first little bundle of 7 lb. 1 oz. joy was born, I was thrust into the world of loving more than I ever thought was possible. That baby became my every thought, every dream, every waking moment.

Soon after her birth was when my eyes were truly opened to how much our Heavenly Father loves His children. It took having a child to begin understanding the tip of the iceberg of the love He has for us.

Drawing the first correlations to God's love for me occurred when all I wanted to do was stare at her, the infant, all day long. She really didn't do much at all, but I was fascinated with everything about her. I wanted to watch how she moved her lips, watch her growing, sleeping, breathing, eating, changing before my very eyes and all her little daily routines. And I thought, I betcha God wants to know all about my day too. Then when she started walking, I wanted to encourage her, congratulate her, assist her, coax her to walk a little further and reassure her that I was there to catch her if she fell. It dawned on me, God desired to do all those things for me too. Then when she was able to start talking, I craved to hear to her squeaky little voice, teach her more and have her talk back to me. God desired to do all those things with me too.

Another kid added to the mix and four years worth of realizing how much God desires my attention and thoughts really brought out the mirror in my life. The mirror isn't visibly there (thank goodness), but the mirror in my words, actions and thoughts revolving around these two kids that reflected God's own desires for my life.

I can't count how many times I've said something out loud, especially to our two children, and thought, I wonder how many times God has said that to me and I just wasn't listening. Sometimes, the words are quite humorous and others are just plain heart-wrenching when I realize how much I truly don't include Him in my life.

I have this picture of a typical day: God is up in heaven, munchin' on some warm, soft, fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies (this is my vision ok, that's pretty close to heaven for me). He's watching the boob tube, with a Live Feed pointed directly at and in my house. Reality TV at it's finest, I say. And as he listens and watches our mostly mundane, yet somewhat hilarious lives unfolding, he hears me parenting two children. Occasionally, he's proud of my words, actions and thoughts but mostly he's left speechless with his mouth wide open, crumbs falling out, and is flabbergasted with the irony attached to my parental words of wisdom. For instance, I have just said to the biting child, "I don't care how tired you are or how awful you feel, that still doesn't give you the right to bite, hit, scratch or pull hair." Don't you know God's thinking, "wasn't it just yesterday, after church, she was exasperated in the car because Nathan was tired and all she could do was whine and get snippy with the whole family and her excuse was 'I'm tired'?" The main difference: about 30 years. And considering how long God has been around, it's negligible.

I've been keeping a mental note of the phrases I say all the time that could easily be turned around for God to say back to me. There are many I can't remember and many are still yet to come, so I've listed out the ones I do remember with the hopes and prayer that I'll bring more self-awareness to my deceitful behavior and God will find mercy upon me to bring about a change in my parenting techniques.

I first read through these phrases imagining me saying them, then read through them again imagining God whispering these words in my heart after I've acted like the child I'm attempting to parent:

"Are things really that bad to cause you to be so dramatic and throw yourself around?"

"Don't you know, I'm on your side? I'm here for you and I need you to trust and believe me."

"I guess I'm gonna have to just let you hurt yourself."

"I just want to hear about your day. I'm your biggest fan. I wasn't there to see you and I enjoy talking to you and hearing your stories, that's why I ask about your day all the time."

"Will you hurry it up! Why does it take so long to get out of the house, I'd have more luck mobilizing the army!" (although I think they might be a bit more efficient and that one might be for more of my husband saying it to me instead of God)

"You can make this hard, or choose to do it the easy way. It's your choice."

"A little hunger pains don't warrant that type of reaction."

"Come here. Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here. Put the stick down and come here."

"Your teeth hurt? Try having kids!"

"You want me to put a band-aid on that?"

"Come here, can I just hold you?"

"I love you more than you'll ever know."

It could be that I just haven't experienced it yet, but I can't imagine anything getting to the heart of a believer, any faster or straighter, than having children. Thank you God for the children you've blessed us with and for your gracious love paralleled in our lives.

Parenthood: things I never thought of

I remember as a kid, when adults would say something to me that didn't make sense or I really didn't agree with, I would think to myself, "I better remember this so I can explain it better to my kids." I never thought 30 was old; 80 yes, but never 30. I truly believed that adults knew more than me, were wiser and that they knew what was best for me. My actions didn't always show that, but that's what I believed.

So when parenthood was looming on the horizon, I wasn't scared that I'd be forced to eat a plate full of crow. I was more concerned with still listening to those more experienced and wiser than I, and when the time came, making the time to explain to my kids the "why's" of this world and decisions as a parent.

Now, details. I'm usually a detail person, but some of the details of parenthood eluded me BK (before kids). They currently have forced their way into my daily routine, becoming habit, more than I care to admit. Stuff that no one could have ever prepared me for, explained to me nor would I have truly comprehended until I had my own.

For instance:

• No time in my life did I ever realize right before bedtime that I was wearing my bottom undergarments inside out all day long. NEVER. Not until I became a mother.

• Making a trip to Wal-Mart to buy something as simple as printer paper was one of those things I could "do while sleeping." It was so easy and common for me to do. Now, the constant barrage of comments and questions emanating from the cute little voice in my cart distracts my concentration, therefore making the usually simple search for printer paper turn into walking down 5-6 aisles until I politely request quiet time. I'm not even gonna be picky about what type of paper so long as it's cheap, just let me find it!

• Who would have ever thought that a serious debate would occur over 5 or 6 Cheez-Its for a pre-bedtime snack? Is one more really going to make that much of a difference, oh little one? Apparently so.

• Mobility. Oh the freedom of getting into a car and leaving in less than 15 minutes. I remember my cousin and I having contests to see who could jump into their manual transmission trucks, turn them on and start rolling down the road first. I was fast baby, fast. I usually had the truck rolling before the starter was fully turned over. Not so much any more. My cousin would already be in the check-out line at Wal-Mart paying for the printer paper by the time I pull out of the driveway nowadays.

• I never ever could have predicted that 100% of the time I'm frustrated with helping wipe her hiney (who is fully capable of doing it herself) that my heart would be softened with a hug and the sweet words of, "I love you Mommy."

• Not one class was offered to me, in any of my schooling, that taught me one day I'd have to search my shirt for dried snot before walking into church or a restaurant. Thank goodness I married a man who is very perceptive (yet still working on his method of delivery).

But of all the books I've read, and all the parents and grandparents I've talked to, not one has been able to sufficiently verbalize the heart-swell of a feeling I get when my children are being so cute and well-behaved in a restaurant, or they're playing together nicely, or they just want me to hold them tightly, or hearing squeals of laughter echo down the hallway.

I guess that's part of the surprise factor. If we ever fully knew of the pains and hassles, would we still make the same decision?

An older lady stared longingly at our pre-nap destructos in Wal-Mart today and said, "Oh, they're precious. And mine are so big now!" Just like the comments made by adults placed in my life 20 years ago, I have comments from adults to remind me of the preciousness of now. The wonderfulness of them being little. The sliver of time when they need me so much. The blessing of being a mom.